Nekojita

Featured

I’ll Keep this Short

Well, here it goes…

I’ll be upfront. I’ve never blogged before, or kept a journal, but I have always rambled on in my head only to conclude with “Why don’t I just keep a journal or something?” Now I am 24 years old and life has taken a complete 360 degree flip. Within one year I am pregnant, newly wed in an interracial relationship, and preparing to move my life from Canada to Japan.

I thought now would be a good time to start documenting my rambles.

So please feel free to follow this blog as I write about my brand new life as a first time mom and soon-to-be expat. Photos will be included.

Lose the Attitude

I was raised in a very conservative, tight-knit community that secluded themselves from the rest of main stream society. There was pressure to either get married and devote your family to the group, or just devote yourself 110%. As a result, it was common for people to marry young, so the youth often would begin casually courting at about 15 years old.

I knew exactly what I wanted. I had a mental list and each box had to be checked. I met a number of boys within the community, but none of them checked my boxes and I ended each relationship (no matter the stage it was at) swiftly and mercilessly. Inevitably I gained a reputation, and my Mother even nicknamed me “M the heart breaker”.

There was one boy in particular that my parents took a liking to. He was polite, chivalrous, and good looking. He and I talked for some time, but I came to realize he was not what I wanted and rejected him quickly. Apparently this broke my dear Mother’s heart.

“That poor boy! He was so nice. Nobody is perfect. If you don’t lose that attitude you’re going to be alone forever!”

At one time my Father joked that I would become an old ‘baba’ maid.

I believed them; I had a bad attitude and I created a ton of self-conflict trying to change it. However six years passed, and a lot happened. I realized what I wanted for my life was not there, and resigned from the community to forge a fresh path. Two more years later, I met a guy. We hit it off and he checked all the boxes. He was my kind of perfect, and everything else fell into place.

So just like that, the ‘bad attitude’ I couldn’t lose gave me what I had always wanted and more. I also realized it was so much more than that – it was my refusal to settle and I hope to pass that same conviction on to my daughter.

Create the life you want and don’t settle for anything less.
Millionaire Mentor

New Life

Telling my parents about our decision to move to Japan was easy. “We are moving to Japan after the baby is born.” One simple sentence.

But it wasn’t easy for them. My father is calm and collected, although I could see inside he was sorrowed. I get it. His present grandchildren are already far from reach – estranged because of family issues and living two days by car up north. Now here I am, his oldest daughter, planning to whisk away his unborn grandchild to the other side of the world. I check my mother; she’s silently looking out the restaurant window.

“What about your job here?”

There it is. I knew my father would ask that. Work and financial security has always been a hot topic for him.

“I’ll quit, and stay at home for a year, maybe a bit longer, to look after the baby. Then I’ll find another job.”

“What about your work seniority? You have a good job here. I hate to see you throw it away.”

Hearing him say that pained me. I don’t feel like I am throwing anything away. Quite the opposite actually; I feel like I am gaining a whole new life and I couldn’t be more excited. Sacrificing my dead-end ‘good job’ for a grand adventure with my husband and our child in his home country seemed like a no-brainer for me. Besides, my cousin and dear friend moved there with her husband over a year ago. We’ll have each other and I miss her.

“I guess we’ll have to change our winter get-away destination!” The overall mood lifted instantly. Thanks mom. My husband laughs and we start telling my parents about the sights they’ll see and the food they’ll try when they come visit us.

Christmas and Change

The holidays are over and I couldn’t be more happy to be back home.

Just kidding.

This year I ended the holidays with mixed feelings. I was raised to never celebrate the holidays due to their pagan roots, however being an adult now I decided that thinking like that was not for me and we packed our bags to spend Christmas with my brother and his family. It was going to be a three day trip – we had to make a stop in another city to drop the dog off with the sitter, so I was eager to get on the road. We left home after a 12 hour work shift and arrived at my friend’s home 2 hours later.

That initial drive was not fun. Being pregnant I was extra tired from work so my husband volunteered to drive. It was his first time driving at night, in Canada, in winter. I tried to be patient and understanding, but my crankiness that night was too strong. We fought over how to use the car’s headlights. We fought over how fast to drive. We even fought over other peoples’ driving. But, we arrived at our first stop on our journey and all was forgotten. We ended the day with a “I love you” and goodnight kiss.

We left the following morning, December 22nd and arrived at my brother’s the evening of December 23rd. We spent five days there, and it couldn’t have been more perfect. We went on a jingle bell horse-drawn sleigh ride and admired beautiful Christmas light displays, built a gingerbread house, filled our bellies with warm ham, turkey, and mashed potatoes, and of course exchanged gifts.

As we made our way back home, I couldn’t help but think about how this was my first Christmas with family, but also the last time I would see my brother, his wife and my three nieces for an undetermined amount of time. A moment of sadness washed over me, and for a few days after I moped around our tiny apartment.

Today however I can see another door opening into a wonderland of possibilities – next year Christmas we will have an eight month old baby, and our home will be in Japan. Now I can’t stop dreaming about yukatas, festivals, fireworks and New Years’ temple visits.

“Life is dynamic, as it’s definition changes constantly.”
Rohit Gupta